Unexpected
by selaships
Summary: As Patricia prepares for 5 year Anubis reunion, she knows she'll have to see Eddie, her high school boyfriend she never got over. But when tragedy strikes, Patricia is forced to meet up with the Anubians in a way she never expected. (Character death/voilence/drug mentions/cursing) PEDDIE.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys, it's sela! So, I haven't written for HOA in centuries...I've actually been working on a fanfic for Every Witch Way, but I'm not that far into writing. Only 2 chapters.**

 **But I was inspired to write this. One, by the wonderful people on this site, and two being the fact that I needed an outlet...**

 **Beware, it's unedited.**

 **So I present my latest work:**

July 18

I was woken up by the ringing of my cell phone. I was extremely tired, and the only light was coming from street lamps and headlights shining into my hotel room. I knew it was late...more likely really early.

I just had this gut feeling this wasn't going to be good. Who would be calling me at what, 3 AM? I had only been asleep for a couple of hours, but I knew no one would have a valid reason to call me at this time.

I groggily answered the phone. My heart was pounding, and the buzz of the city night was so calm I could hear my heartbeat, almost ringing in my ears.

"Hello?" I said, but it was more of a question: who was calling me?

"Patricia...I-I just don't know how to say this."

I knew who the voice belonged to, and by the sound of the voice, my heart dropped. Something was devastatingly wrong tonight.

"What? Oh my god, Ambs, I'm about have a heart attack, what the fuck is going on?" I spat at her. I shouldn't have been so harsh to her. She was obviously distraught, and I was, too, just thinking about whatever news she was about to deliver.

Who had been hurt? Who needed help?Who had died? What had happened? The conversation was so slow to the both of us, but in reality, happened within seconds.

"Something happened. It's Fabian. Patricia I just don't get it," she said, I could hear the tears she shed. I knew something like this was what the call had been about. I wanted to throw up.

"What happened?" I could hardly conjure up words. I just wanted to know if he was okay.

"Fabian, Jerome, Alfie, Joy, Mara, and I were all together tonight. We'd decided to meet up a day early and go out to dinner tonight...we knew everyone else couldn't make it to until tomorrow, so it was just us...um, we went out for dinner and drinks and we...we got cabs to a hotel. Fabian and Jerome rode in one together since a cab could only hold four passengers...and on the way there, I don't know, Jerome said someone was waving the cab down, like for ride, but when the driver stopped...the guy pulled out a gun and took the drivers seat. Then he threatened Jerome and Fabian, saying he needed to get away because police were chasing him...he robbed them and continued driving, but the guy was pretty dumb, I guess. Police caught up to him and stopped the cab...Jerome said that he grabbed Fabian, using him as a shield, and pointed the gun to his head. Police still tried to shoot him at the parts that weren't protected by Fabes, and he was shot in the arm...but it all happened so quickly...he shot Fabian, but it went in the stomach, I think...or maybe it was his back? I'm not sure...jerome was in shock and just...uh. Um, but immediately the guy was shot and killed by police. Turned out he was wanted for armed robberies or something...I just don't understand why this had to happen, and to Fabian?" Amber stopped, and she sobbed for a little. I could feel tears all over my cheeks, in my mouth, in my clothes. I was silent. It all seemed so stupid that Fabian was so hurt over something like this. Something almost pointless. It didn't make sense.

"Honestly, they don't know if he'll live. And that's so scary, Patricia. I don't want him to go. He shouldn't go because of this! It's so unfair! It's complete BULLSHIT."

Amber had a breakdown. I couldn't see her, but I knew exactly what was happening. I was terrified. I wondered what would happen, how it would effect everything. Tomorrow was supposed to be amazing. Anubis was getting back together after 5 years, we were going to get that magic of being together back.

This tragedy had ruined that. Tomorrow would be sorrowful...and what if Fabian doesn't make it? Would our 5 year reunion be mourning him? I couldn't even imagine this without forgetting how to breathe. Fabian was so different from me, but he was one of my closest friends.

I wasn't good with loss. I miss people too much. I get depressed and anxious, my life seemed to crumble during loss. When I graduated from high school, leaving Anubis. When Eddie and I broke up. I drove myself mad. I hated losses.

I asked Amber where they were. She said at the hospital, waiting to here about Fabian's surgery. The incident had happened only 2 hours ago, about the time I was falling asleep. She said the surgery was expected to take several hours.

I was only an hour away; I was traveling from my law school to get to the reunion. I was going by car, and was way too tired to keep driving. So I got a hotel, simple.

But it kept me from being with my friends when they needed me, when I needed them.

I got up of bed, sleep deprived but now wide awake from the startling news, and grabbed my car keys and room key. I'd come back for my things in the morning. I'd only left some over night little things; most of my stuff for the reunion was still in my car.

I drove for the hospital Amber mentioned. I didn't stop. Fabian was the only thing on my mind. I dreaded getting there...I would see it all, it would become intensely real. But this was what I needed to do.

The car ride was torturous. I just wanted to get there, and my eyes kept getting blurred with tears. I felt so vulnerable, so uncomfortable with myself for crying like this. I should have let myself cry freely...holding myself back all the time for so long has held back a part of me, it's stripped me of something. It has made me feel like I need a barrier. Sometimes I'm just living in a second skin, being the girl people expect. Tough Patricia Williamson.

I let her go that night.

When I finally arrived at the hospital, I frantically shouted for Amber, who'd called me in the first place about this mess. Instead I found Jerome first, coming out of another room.

"Jerome?" I said, processing the blood all over his clothes, the stitched up cut on his face. It all sunk in. I was facing something horrific.

"Shit, Patricia, thank god you're here," he said. He sounded weak, and his voice had cracked. He sounded hopeless, and I teared up just looking at him. He looked at me like he was about the shatter. It was all his eyes. His appearance was disheveled and dirty, he'd obviously been under distress. I pulled him in for an embrace. He held me so tight, like a child holding on to his mother after a bad dream. This was a bad dream come true. I'd never seen him so broken. I grew up with him, and he had been through a lot...but this really affected him. Did Amber say he was there when Fabian...I couldn't think.

I wiped my eyes, "There's blood all over you..."

"It's Fabian's blood. I only got this cut on my face," he said, but his voice was failing him. "I'm fine," he said, barely able to get it out. He was in shock, his throat closed up like mine when I was taking to Amber. "No, you're not. I can tell," I said, not knowing why I had said it. We're silent for a few moments. we held each other, in a way we hadn't before. We both knew there was nothing we could but deal with pain. we pulled apart, and asked him a frightening question.

"Was it absolutely terrifying as it sounds?" But I desperately wanted to know. Even though I felt guilty and wrong for asking him. Why'd I have to make him relive this night again? Wasn't it bad enough?

"It was the scariest thing to ever happen to me. It was so real that I just thought...this can't be happening. And then when Fabian was taken by that guy...I just lost it. I knew it...just knew something was going to happen. I knew our lives were going to change, because shit was going down! Fuck, I wish I were wrong," he explained, the words somehow coming back.

"Let's go find everyone else. I desperately want to see them, and maybe find out what's up with Fabian's surgery." The words seemed so foreign in my mouth. They didn't belong there, I shouldn't had to talk about Fabian in a life or death situation.

The last few hours seemed to pass like seconds. I absorbed every detail.

Jerome and I arrived in the waiting room where all our awaiting friends were. Alfie, Mara, Joy, Amber, and Mick had also showed. Him and all the people Fabian was having an amazing night out with until that tragedy of a cab ride. I wanted to sob all over again. The faces of my closest friends looked like they'd been hit with a hurricane. Did mine look like that? I didn't think I'd been a total sobbing mess, but my cheeks were wet. A wreck had come through this waiting room. Things were pretty silent when I arrived. Everyone was just trying to comprehend the situation.

"Oh my god, Patricia," Joy said as she got up and embraced me.

"How could this happen," I whispered, but I already had known there wasn't an answer. There was no sense in any of this. Why'd Fabian have to get hurt? He didn't deserve this to happen to him. Hell, none of us did. But imagining Fabian in those moments...it made me weak. I hated it.

So for hours, we waited for news about Fabian. His parents and his sister had arrived a little earlier, but I couldn't bring myself to face them.

Nina showed up in a mess of hot tears and panic. She's said her flight was delayed and she got news about Fabian just as she was boarding the plane, saying it had been the most nerve-wracking, most terrible flight of her life. She was so worried, and I could tell. She didn't want him gone, none of us did, but he meant something more to her. Even though they had moved on from their love story, they still cared deeply about each other. They had the kind of the love that didn't just fade away. The kind of love that would stay engraved in their hearts forever.

Nina said she'd gotten a text from Eddie, saying him and KT, who only lived a little over an hour away from each other, we're on their flight right now, but they were still several hours from being here with us. Eddie was coming. I'd pondered over the thought of seeing him forever. I knew I'd see him at the reunion, but with what was going on, the reality of seeing him for the first time in a while was taking the breath out of me.

Eddie...I savored his name. I'd thought about him so much, missed him so much. I wasn't over him.

Silly thing was, I was hoping to get closure at the reunion. Bury me and Eddie's relationship for good, so I didn't have to feel the pain of wanting him any longer. Maybe I would kiss him one last time...but I couldn't think about that now. I needed to focus my attention of Fabian, and on the chaos unfolding in front of my eyes.

Suddenly, after what felt like hours of anticipated waiting, a white coat comes out through the doors. This was the moment we would hear the fate of Fabian.

 **So that was the first chapter! I originally published this story on my wattpad selaships , but now in posting it here! Sorry if the formatting is a little off, I wrote the whole thing on my phone. Review? Thanks for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for continuing on in the story! I hope you enjoy it. Please review!**

I could hear the breaths of my friends and Fabian's family being sucked in. It was the moment. The moment we would find out about Fabian. If he wasn't alright, what would we do? How would we cope? Maybe I was just overreacting, expecting the worse. He could be in recovery, for all I knew. He'd be fine. He had to be, right?

The white coat looked exhausted. His gray hair was a sloppy mess on top of his head, he held a clip board in his hands.

"Well, the bullet wound Fabian suffered entered through his back, puncturing a major artery. There were some major complications during our operation, and we tried for several hours to repair the damage, using a numerous amount of blood transfusions, but we couldn't manage to repair the damage or stop the major damage and blood loss from the wound. Because of these complications, we were not able to save Fabian. He passed only several minutes ago. I'm so sorry," he said, giving us a look of sympathy and than proceeding to exit the room.

And that was when the world around me went crashing and burning down in Fabian fueled flames.

Cries, the most terrible cries, bursted from all of us. Even those who seemed to be holding up the best while waiting had been eaten up by emotion.

The tears flooded down my face. In that moment, I couldn't comprehend all my emotions. I couldn't think. I just wept. Because Fabian was gone...how could that be? He was the geeky, Egyptian mythology fanatic, Nina-loving, over protective boy who I never had thought I'd be loosing. Fabian was the person everyone cared about, and you couldn't help but become attached to him in one way or another. He was a piece of Sibuna, a piece of my high school experience, a piece of me. A best friend. I cried because I lost someone I never thought would leave me.

My heart was broken with the kind of pain I'd never experienced before.

I snapped my attention back to the people around me.

There was Nina, screaming while Alfie tried to hold her back from going...ballistic. If this were anyone else who'd just died, Fabian would be the one holding her, the one trying to comfort her. But this was Fabian, and Nina couldn't hold back from going crazy. His family just tried to stay together, a mess of tears and sad hugs and newly broken souls. It was like a TV scene. My heart wept even more. Amber sat in her chair, wrapping herself in a ball, her face hidden from everyone else.

Mick and Mara were comforting each other, as well as Jerome and Joy. I was compelled to go join them. Joy noticed me first, looking at me with sobbing eyes and a hopeless expression. Jerome looked as if a part of him had been...ripped out. Was he possibly the last of Fabian's friends to see him alive?

Pushing the question out of my mind, I wrapped my arms around them as they engulfed me in their embraces. Jerome rested his head on top of mine. I felt his tears drop against my scalp, some running down my face as well.

I didn't know how long we all stood in that waiting room, trying our efforts at comforting one another. His family was dealing with all the legal and medical shit, while trying to wrap their heads around this senseless tragedy.

Then KT and Eddie came in. His eyes immediately landed on me, and I realized that they didn't know yet. I ran up to him, almost a full out sprint. I needed him more than anything right now.

"Patricia?" he whispered, barely audible. But I knew he was trying to ask, is he okay?

I shook my head, "no," was all I said. His face showed his devastation. A broken frame of what once was a boy. I caved, diving into his arms. I'd missed him so much, but this all felt wrong. I'd let him hold me until people started leaving. I didn't know what was going to come next. A funeral service?

How much more pain is a person expected to take until they simply can't take any more? Then what happens?

Whatever it was, I felt as if it might happen to me.

Everything else after that became a blur, speeding by in what felt like just a few moments. We all became zombies, just shells of the people we really were. I drove all the way back to my hotel, and collapsed in my bed when I got there. What the fuck had just happened? Was this my reality?

If it was, it was turning me into a ball of emotions. It was brining out the parts of me that I didn't know I had.

I fell asleep to the sounds of early morning buzz and my own tears, pondering over these past few terrible hours. This had all started at 3 AM, but it was around 9 AM by the time I got back to my room. I knew I'd have to check out in few hours, but that didn't matter to me. Not today.

I welcomed sleep like I thought I'd never meet it again.

I woke to knocking on the door at 1:00 PM. I scrambled over to the door to open it, revealing an irritated looking young woman I recognized from the front desk.

"Look, I understand you left at 3:00 and only got back a few hours ago, for whatever strange reason, but you need to leave. We need to prepare the room for guests staying tonight, miss." she rudely said.

"Look," I imitate her, "I don't have time for your rude-ass bullshit. Since you really wanna know, one of my best friends was murdered last night and I'm not in any mood to be polite right now. I'll leave. I'll be out of this shit shack in 10." I replied, slamming the door in her face. I heard her sound of disgust from the other side of the door.

I packed up all my stuff, cleaned a bit. But not knowing what to do next, I called Amber.

"Hello?" I heard her voice say from the other end. She sounded exhausted.

"Hi, Ambs. It's me. I don't really know what to do know, I called you. Is there any...arrangements. What's going on?"

"Yeah, um, most of us are staying at the Rutters, and his parents and aunts and uncles are making the...arrangements. The funeral is in two days. I know that. Everything else is unknown to me. The reunion is canceled because of it, so everyone's just going to stay out here for the service. After that...I'm guessing we all just resume our regular lives. Right now that seems impossible."

"Okay. I'll be at the Rutters in like...an hour or so maybe?"

"Okay, Trish. Be safe, okay? And I know someone is really looking forward to seeing you again. His high school best friend is gone, and I think a certain high school lover could hold his hand and make him feel a little better." Amber used the same talk she always did, but her voice didn't match her teasing little words of Eddie. She had been very monotone, had none of the charisma in her voice. It was scary.

Eddie was another thing on my mind. I couldn't wait to see him again. He was my first love, and I knew he could help heal any of my pain. He was hurting, too. I just wanted to help him, because I couldn't stand seeing him in pain. He didn't deserve this to happen. This should not have happened at all, and we were all stuck having to cope with it.

I got in my car, turned Fall Out Boy on and drowned out all bad thoughts while I drove to probably the saddest place I could possibly go.

I arrived at the Rutter's house nearly two hours later after hitting major traffic on the way there. The house was quite the sight; just about a dozen cars were parked outside of the house, a big Victorian style home that looked like it had been build hundreds of years ago.

The house was 3 stories tall, with white, brown, and dark green paneling and a variety of sporadically placed windows. Their was no symmetry, and the place looked old, but it was incredibly beautiful. Artistic. I couldn't believed Fabian had lived there.

I knocked on the door as my stomach gave me a feeling of a being on a poorly put together carnival ride.

"Hello? Are you another Anubis kid?" a girl with chin length dark hair greeted bitterly after opening the door. She looked like she could use a nap. And it didn't help she had the raccoon look with her eyeliner. Her hand was placed on her hip and her dark colored lips were pressed into a line. She wore a black knitted sweater, dark grey leggings, and black boots. She had lots of piercings running up the edges of her ear, and a nose stud.

"Yes, I'm Patricia Williamson. And you, Miss Eyeliner? Who are you?" I spat back. I knew this probably wasn't an appropriate way to greet whoever this way, but her expression told me she wasn't offended, like Amber or Mara would be when I said rude things to them. She opened her mouth to reply:

"I'm Kandace. Going into 3rd year, housing at Anubis myself. Nice to meet you, despite the circumstances. You seem like the only tolerable person I'll be meeting through all this fuckery." Okay, I really liked this kid. Maybe she was grieving, but I admired how our together she was. Her edginess was cool, even if was several years younger than me. She seemed understanding, and obviously got a vibe from me that I wasn't going to be a person who got all weird when death happened.

I knew this wasn't the most amazing journey, but I was happy I was meeting some great people along the way. Like her. She seemed like someone I'd wanna stick around.

"I've gotten so tired of all the condolences. All of the 'sorry's and 'what a tragedy's are making me sick. But you...you seem sad, of course, but not like you're being apologetic or trying to put up an act for others. You seem genuine. And right now, I could use some one to ground me," she admitted. I had the sudden feeling I wanted to be there for this girl, whoever she was.

"I'm gonna go make the rounds, but then I want to get back to you. You are probably my best bet at staying sane with this...so if you see me a little later, pull me over. We can talk. Okay, Eyeliner? No, Cooney. That's better," I joked. Kandace gave a small little smile. I could tell she hadn't smiled since Fabian. I wondered even more who she really was. Cousin? Neighbor? All of his nearby family had been there at the hospital last night. I wanted to stay with my new friend, but I had to see everyone else first.

Really, I didn't think I could face all of them. I was scared. I hardly ever got scared, but it seemed to be happening a lot lately.

I passed by Kandace and into the house, which was way more modern than the seemingly untouched exterior of the house.

Kandace reminded me of myself when I was that age. Maybe that's why I liked her so much.

"Here," Kandace began, gesturing for me to follow her, "I'll show you where you're friends are. They're in his room."

She then led me upstairs, to a regular looking bedroom door. This was very Fabian-like. He didn't need to ever decorate things or make them personalized. He liked his things, and his life, to be simplistic. Of course, Sibuna didn't make his life simple, but that was different to him. Sibuna was more than just his regular life. So, yeah, Sibuna was the one crazy thing in his life.

I opened the door to find them all there, like Kandace had said. Their eyes turned to me.

How could I be the only one not there? Why did I sleep? I should've gone straight there. What if they had needed me?

"Yacker," Eddie said, getting up from Fabian's desk chair and making his way towards me. "How are you holding up? Where have you been?" he carefully interrogated me.

"Calm down, weasel, I went back to my hotel room. I slept for while, then they kicked me out and I headed straight here. It's fine," I assured him.

But it really wasn't. Fabian was dead. We were in the room of our dead friend. Why? I took a seat on the floor, since every possible seating area in the room is filled.

When I said everyone from Anubis was there, I meant everyone. Amber, sitting in front of the floor length mirror, running a flat iron through her hair. It was her distraction. Something to kept her busy. Jerome and Joy say on the sofa together, both looking just overall crappy, but were holding hands. Alfie sat in the other space on the sofa, Looking around awkwardly and fiddling with his fingers. Mara, KT, and Willow all sat in a tiny circle, going through a few photos of Fabian and nerdy things he took pictures of. Mick sat on the edge of the bed, lost in one of Fabe's books that Mick would usually never touch.

Nina lay on the bed, playing around with a piece of jewelry in her hands. She was mumbling to herself, and my concern for her was growing. She was pale, her eyes were puffy and red, her lips chapped, she looked like she'd been living in those clothes for days. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror Amber was doing her hair at. I looked awful. My hair was frizzed and all I've the place. My makeup was smeared. I looked filthy.

"I'll be right back," I muttered, heading for the bathroom.

I needed a second to breathe. This was all too much. At this point, I didn't know what to do or feel. I threw my hair into a horribly messy top knot, and used a washcloth to get the make up off my face. I still looked horrible, but that was least of my worries. I was still wearing the grey t shirt and dark red leggings I'd slept in, and had thrown on a pair or sandals.

Once I entered the bedroom again, it was still pretty silent. No one knew what to do. Finally someone spoke.

"What do we do now?" KT wondered out loud.

"About what. That was a bit vague," Mara said in her usual tone. Of course, Jaffray needed more details about what KT was referring to. She was cold during this whole thing, but I suppose that was her way of coping.

"I don't know Mara," KT said, "maybe about the fact that Fabian was murdered, or maybe what's gonna happen know. What will we do? Nothing feels right anymore. Can't you understand that?"

"Yes, I understand. I'm sorry, I don't know what's going to happen. I don't know exactly how we will all get passed this, but we will. We have to," Mara replies, meekly.

"After the memorial service, there's not much we can after, is there? We have to move on with our lives. We all did fine after high school with Fabian by our sides all the time. He'll be right in our hearts and in our memories. He'll be where it counts. We're not just going to erase him from our lives, like he never existed. We're going to remember him. We will all be fine. We just have to heal the Fabian-shaped hole in our lives," I expressed, putting my deepest thoughts out there for all my closest friends to hear.

"Since when did you get so poetic, Pattycakes?" Jerome half heartedly joked. I shot him daggers.

"Since I've been thinking to much and not talking enough. Words just came out. I'm feeling these emotions I never knew I had...I don't know, just shut up, Slimeball," I quickly replied.

"Well, you put it the right way, Patricia. None of us want to say goodbye, but we have to live our lives like we always did. That's what Fabian would want," KT said, giving me a little peace. I gave her a light smile.

"Oh my goodness guys, look at these!" Joy said with a bit of enthusiasm. She had joined some of the other girls who were looking at pictures on the floor a little earlier. She pulled a file out from one of Fabian's desks drawers, where he kept almost everything from pictures to documents to letters. Anything special that he could fit into those drawers went it there. I remembered him telling me something similar about his desk drawers at Anubis.

The file had five words on it. Written in big black letters, all caps, in Fabian's handwriting.

BEST YEARS OF MY LIFE

Joy pulled out a bunch of photos, tears brimming in her eyes. She began to pass the pictures around to all us, sharing the moments Fabian had entitled the best years of his life. Would he think that now? Even after he'd died? He never would had thought his life would be so short.

The first picture I saw was one of one all of us sitting at the dining table at Anubis. It was taken during 3rd year, so KT and Willow and Mick weren't there. I had been sitting next to Eddie, and we were all laughing. I didn't remember what we were laughing about, but it still made me smile. Fabian's face was all red from laughing, and he and Nina were looking right at each other. Another was of Fabian, Joy, me, Jerome, and Alfie squished on the couch during 1st year, Amber was laying across our laps. We all had these strange faces, awkward, amused, and young little faces.

I wanted to cry.

We started to look at the photos together, and I noticed all of them were either taken at Anubis or in school or he was with us some how in all of them. High school was the best years of his life, and it was because of us, the people his was with.

We laughed and cried and cringed at the beautiful moments captured in all of Fabian's pictures. He had one where we were together, posing on graduation. Our diplomas in hand, we had lifted them into air with one hand, the other balled up in a fist and planted on our hip.

I hadn't seen it before. But it was probably the most precious picture I had ever seen. It represented the silliness of our friendship, it stood for the happy times. It was so ordinary, but absolutely breathtaking to me. I slipped it into the hand bag I had brought with me. I wasn't sure whether this was the right thing to do or not, but I needed that picture. Graduation was one my happiest days. Even with all that had happened.

We all cherished the photos, and it was like old times again. But there was the lingering feeling of something, someone missing.

We let ourselves feel the pain though, because we knew we had entered another part of our lives. We weren't letting go of our past, but instead excepting our lives were different, and that those high school years were some we'd always remember.

I noticed Nina hadn't moved from her position on the bed. She had seen the pictures, but I think they had made her just miss him more.

We were still looking at pictures when there was a knock on the door.

"Hello," a woman greeted. I immediately recognized her as Fabian's mom, and I felt like and idiot for not going to her first and saying something, expressing my sorrow. "I just wanted to let you guys know we've had a few pizzas delivered for an early dinner, and I ask you guys to please eat." She looks at us for a moment, noticing the photos. A sad smile cracked upon her face. Then she left.

She looked as depressed and exhausted as everyone else, except somehow worse. She had lost her son, her baby. How does someone deal with losing a human that they created? Would you lose a part of yourself because you'd lost probably the most important person in your life? I didn't know how to comprehend it.

Everyone got up to go downstairs and get pizza, probably because of Mrs. Rutter's request and because they were probably starving.

"You coming?" Eddie asked me after everyone else leaves the room. My heart flutters for just a second.

"No, I'm gonna stay behind," I said, gesturing at Nina, who was still laying on Fabian's bed, staring off into space. He looked at her, gave me and understanding look that made me want to fall in love with him all over again, and proceeded to exit the room.

"Nins?" I asked tentatively. "Talk to me. Please, Nina. I would ask if you're okay but that's just a stupid question. You've hardly moved. Please, just talk to me."

"I can't eat. I can't sleep. I don't feel like doing anything. I don't wanna talk about. I'm not ready," she cried, tears streaming down her face.

"Nina, I promise you'll feel better if you talk about. I just hate seeing you like this. You're more hurt than any of us...I know how special Fabian was to use. Just talk to me...I'm one of your best friends, I just want to stop some of the pain," I pleaded. Tears flooded my face as I looked at Nina. She looked numb, like the pain inside her was corroding her. I couldn't stand to see her like this.

She waited a moment before speaking.

"I was going to tell him I still had feelings for him. I wanted to be with him. I love him, Patricia. I never got the chance to tell him. I never said goodbye to him! I never kissed him one last time, I never saw his smile another time. He was first love. He meant the world to me. How could my world just disappear like that and expect me to not just...crumble. I miss him so much. I just wanted to see him again, tell him I never stopped loving him," she cried. I crawled onto the bed with her and held her. Would I be like this if Eddie died? Of course. He was my everything when I was with him. I cried for Nina, cried for Fabian, cried like I told myself I would never cry like.

Later, I ran down stairs and grabbed is a few slices of pizza. I knew it was difficult for Nina to eat and keep it in, but she knew it for the best that she ate. She knew Fabian wouldn't want her to push her health to the side because of him.

"Hey," a voice opening the door said, "I thought you'd be in here. I needed to get away from everything. It's all condolences, tears, flowers, and greasy pizza. I can't handle it," Kandace said, plopping down in the desk chair. She gave Nina a little wave.

"Need to vent, Cooney? My ears and are open." I offered.

"I mean, there's so many people here I don't know! I kinda know the Anubis people, but there are so many distant relatives and co workers and neighbors and random people here. I get a million sorries that really don't mean anything, and people keep bringing casseroles and lasagna and soups and flowers. I'm tired of it. I just want to grieve in my own way. I keep getting strange looks from people because I'm not bursting into tears or having a break down. I mean, is it really that bad that I'd rather feel nothing around all these strangers? I'll keep my emotions for when I wanna express them. I'm not going to put on an act for these people," she cried.

"Are you a relative?" I asked. Nina gave me a strange look. Kandace rolled her eyes.

"So you don't know...I live here. I'm Fabian's sister."

"Well I feel like a freaking idiot now..." I said, utterly embarrassed.

"It's okay. I like that you didn't know. You didn't feel like you need to apologize or treat my like I'm fragile when I'm not," she said. I really saw myself in her.

"Wait, but you weren't at the hospital last night. Where were you?" I pushed. I was curious as to why this girl who seemed to care about her brother so much wasn't there after the incident.

I saw her face turn really sad, and I regretted asking.

"I was actually getting high at a friend's place and couldn't bother to check my phone," she said, letting her tears out.

"Why wasn't I there for him? Why were drugs so important that...that...I had to be so selfish and not answer my phone. Why do I burden my parents with this? Why did they have to loose the kid who didn't sneak out at night and make them worry so much!" she cried even harder.

"Kandace," Nina voice broke, "you don't have to blame yourself for anything. You should've say those things or you'll drive yourself crazy."

Nina and I embraced her.

"It will be okay, I promise. You will be okay," I said, wiping tears from my eyes.

"You guys want to watch a movie? We can watch something on Netflix. I have a tv in my room," Kandace composed herself and asked. I think she really wanted to get her mind off today and relax. Nina and I needed that, too. I looked at Nina and she nodded.

"Okay," I answered, "what should we watch?"

"I'm not sure. Do you guys have any suggestions?" Kandace asked.

"I kinda wanna watch Teen Wolf. Dylan O'Brien always makes me feel better. I know it's not a movie..." Nina suggested.

"Well, it's not on Netflix but it's Amazon Prime instant video, and we have that, too. Which season do you wanna watch?" Kandace asked Nina.

"The first one. I wanna get nostalgic with it, take my mind off things," Nina explained. We walked to Kandace's room as she set up so we could watch Teen Wolf. As I looked over at Nina a few times, I could tell it was making her feel better. She liked being in this other world for while. I found myself liking the show very quickly. I concentrated on hot Derek was and trying to figure out who the Alpha was, and for the time we watched, it made me feel a little better. I didn't think about Fabian as much. I'd handled enough of that for today, and it was good to just unwind and relax. 2 episodes in, Joy and Amber joined us. We all squished on Kandace's ginormous bed, making the best of a depressing day. I started to feel an ounce of happiness.

But I still had one question biting at me:

How painful would the funeral be? How would we all survive a few more days of starting a life without Fabian?

We just had to be there for each other. That was the only way we'd get through this.


	3. Chapter 3

**Unedited.**

 **Thanks for reading! Please review? I'll hear anything you have to say! If you have suggestions or critiques, I will take them! Thanks guys, I hope you like my extremely sad story. I know this is a short chapter, but I wanted to get something up. It's a bit of a filler, but I love the joy/nina friendship in this.**

After being at the Rutter's, we decided to cram into hotel rooms. Me, Nina, Amber, and Joy. KT, Willow, Mara. Jerome, Alfie, Eddie, Mick.

The night began terribly. I couldn't sleep, and after a couple hours of trying it was apparent no one else could in our room could fall asleep either.

"Can we just stay up and talk? The silence is killing me. I can't get mind off things," Nina suggested. She sat up in the bed she was sharing with Amber and exhaled.

"Joy?" Nina beckoned. Next to me, Joy sat up, her back against the pillow. "Yeah, Nins?"

"I know this is an awkward question, but...what was it like for you? Being in love with Fabian." Joy stiffened at the question, then relaxed again, thinking it over for a moment then smiling into her lap.

"It was a great feeling. He was my first love. We never became much, but I cared about so much...it consumed me. I was naive and young and silly, but Fabian meant more than me than people thought. It was assumed I was obsessed with him, like a girl with a movie star or something. It wasn't like that, though. He was my best friend, and he brought out the good in me in those younger years. Being in love with him might not have given me any closure or satisfaction, and I hurt a lot people, including you, Nina. But I loved him because he believed in me. But really, being in love with Fabian felt like...eating from a cloud of cotton candy. I don't know, something silly like that." Joy let out a giggle, tears in her eyes.

"Why did I leave him senior year? I left him in the most heartbreaking way. I wanted to apologize and make things better, but I never got the chance. I should have done it earlier, not five years later. I'm a horrible person." Nina cups her hands over her face.

"You are not a horrible person. You and Fabian cared about each other more than anyone else I could think of. He could never stay angry at you Nina, he loved you. A couple days ago, he asked me something. Joy, should I tell Nina how I really feel? Should I tell her that I forgive her? Because a part of me still loves her, and I miss her more than anything. I just want her back in my life, but I don't know what to do. You two were soulmates," Joy said, tears streaming down Nina's face.

She closed her eyes, "I love you, Fabian. I love so much."

Twenty minutes later, Nina and Joy were asleep. "Amber?" I whispered, "I know neither of us were ever in love with Fabian, but I know how much we loved our high school boyfriends. Do you think they're gonna be okay?" I played with the fabric of the pillow case in my hands.

"Yeah. They are both really strong, and they have us. They'll be fine. We will, too, Patricia." Amber closed her eyes.

"We will," I whispered, laying back down to hopefully get some sleep.


End file.
